


"there are damsels made of flawless fearlessness"

by LaHadaBuena



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Julie Molina, F/F, F/M, Flynn Appreciation (Julie and The Phantoms), Gen, M/M, Multi, Protective Julie Molina, Supportive Julie Molina
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaHadaBuena/pseuds/LaHadaBuena
Summary: "there are damsels made of flawless fearlessness; made of more bravery than knights have ever seen"- Nikita Gill -Julie Molina lived in a fear long enough to know she doesn't want it to be the one in charge. To know she will protect her family no matter what. To know that love is the most powerful force in the world and that she was made to be more than she had ever dreamt.
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Carlos Molina & Julie Molina, Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Ray Molina, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 81
Collections: JATP Appreciation Week





	1. so I'll be comin' home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Except for that night. Or very, very early morning, as she would rather call it.  
> \--  
> Dude, it sounds more like a witch from the Edwardian era.  
> \--  
> It wasn't his own habit but Julie knew he remembered mama used to do this and that she particularly enjoyed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm not gonna stop you here for a long time - I just wanted to welcome anyone who came here and apologize in advance for every mistake I've definitely made (English isn't my first language, so that's the main reason). Please feel free to let me know what I should correct!  
> Have a nice day and stay safe!

As Anne Shirley once famously said, Julie was nothing but glad she lived in a world where there were Octobers. This one had started particularly well with the monthly anniversary of her boys' arrival at the begging of the second week, unexpected Orpheum performance at the end of it, and saving boys from that Caleb's stamp the very same night. She was trying to forget all the tears, fear, and helplessness that had come along the way and for now, she was quite successful at this.  
Except for that night. Or very, very early morning, as she would rather call it.  
  
Julie, tucked into sheets and an additional hoodie as she was unusually cold, was humming herself a lullaby her mama used to sing her, swaying back and forth to calm down. She had woken up from a nightmare about an hour before but every time she closed her eyes and tried to come back to sleep, the nerves and terror of losing boys or something preventing them from playing together or Caleb winning (whoever he was) - it all was coming back to her. So she stayed awaken, hyperaware she had a long day ahead and really could use some rest.  
  
  
_Do not fear dark  
  
Just find your spark  
  
I'll come and fight  
  
All of the night's fright._  
  
  
The longer she was singing mama's lullaby, the stronger memories of her - and reminders she's gone - were going through Julie's mind.  
  
She remembered her warm, kind smile when she was gently correcting her play on the piano. She remembered how they were singing and coming up with completely new melodies on Sunday mornings while preparing breakfast together. She remembered the smell and taste of _churros_ mama made every time she, Flynn, and Carrie had a sleepover. She remembered her soothing touch as she was running her fingers through her Julie's hair to calm her after crying over something that had happened.  
  
Julie wished the memories were as healing as this gentle touch so she could come back to sleep.  
  
Instead, all those memories made her eyes wet and the lump in her throat bigger. Feeling it had to end at crying, she decided to at least reduce sobbing and avoid waking up dad or Carlos. With this strong resolution, she made herself get up and go downstairs, to the kitchen, to get herself a glass of water.  
  
The one thing she hadn't predicted was that boys will be there, occupying the counter and chatting.  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" she hissed. "At five o'clock?"  
  
"We could ask you the same," Luke replied quickly, defending tone.  
  
All three ghosts turned to her and immediately, she felt an urge to run away from their gazes, so she approached the fridge and got herself an orange juice. She took a little sip but didn't turn back to the boys. She knew they would spot the difference from her normal expression and she didn't want that to happen. They would worry over little thing and there was no need for that.  
  
"Julie?" Alex asked gently. "Julie, what's happening?"  
  
"Nothing, why would you think that?" she panicked a little but managed to keep her voice steady. "I just wanted to get some juice."  
  
"Julie, look at me." Luke tenderly turned her so she would face him. He carefully looked at her face, and with every little thing he noticed, his face got more and more concerned. "Hey, Jules, what happened?"  
  
Alex and Reggie approached them and now they all were standing so close to each other she could feel their warmth, which was surprising given they were, well, dead and untouchable for everyone but her.  
  
"Can I get a hug?" she whispered.  
  
"Of course!" Reggie wrapped his arms around her neck and chuckled happily.  
  
Alex and Luke followed his example and soon she was surrounded by care and cheerfulness and love. She really couldn't ask for more.  
  
"Julie, you're shivering," Reggie said after a long moment, pushing her gently away and looking at her with concern. "You got completely blue lips."  
  
"I must've forgotten to close the window in my room," she explained quickly. She definitely didn't want to discuss how she was constantly cold these days. It was too late (or too early?) for that conversation.  
  
Alex and Luke silently agreed on something over her head and a moment later she was swept off her feet as Luke picked her up and carried to the couch, where Alex wrapped her in a blanket. Boys sat beside her, warming her with their bodies.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered, resting her head on Luke's shoulder. "You're the best, guys."  
  
And she meant it. Maybe it was she who played an old CD but without their help, she would never come back to the music which was much like being dead inside. She tried to shake off the memory of living through days without really participating in them; the feeling of having a living body but a dead soul inside.  
  
She hesitantly reached for Luke's hand that was just near her knee. He smiled at her and started to rub little circles on her skin. Reggie chuckled, seeing it, but didn't say a word, just smiled and hugged her tighter. She closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time, she fell asleep which was deep and calm and restful and free from nightmares.

  


♦ ♦ ♦ 

  


"Kill me," Flynn demanded in an exceptionally firm tone. Usually, this kind of request came with a voice drained from any life forces, but this time it looked like Flynn was determined to die with a full range of anger.  
  
"No," Julie responded, not even looking at her friend from her history textbook. "I wouldn't survive even one day without you. Not to mention I still have debt from the past year to be paid."  
  
"I told a hundred times, there isn't anything to be paid. Friends are to help each other and you would do the same for me. Besides, your dad spoils me with _pastelitos de guayaba_ every week and I take that as a proper repayment."  
  
Julie chuckled but didn't oppose - her dad really did cook well.  
  
"Why you wanted to end your spectacular life, by the way?" She came back to writing but was listening very carefully.  
  
"Mrs. Martinez assigned us group work, and guess who she paired me with?"  
  
"Kayla? She seems to be almost as good as you in economics."  
  
" _Worse._ I have to work with Carrie Freaking Wilson."  
  
"Ouch," Julie hissed, this time looking up. "My condolences."  
  
"Yeah, thanks." Flynn took a bite of her sandwich and chewed it slowly. "Did have any news from Nick?"  
  
"No, why? The last time we talked was the morning after the Orpheum performance, something like five days ago."  
  
Flynn went silent.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Julie asked, now far from being focused on her assignment.  
  
"That it's a bit weird."  
  
"Seriously? Sometimes people don't spend all their time talking or texting, you know that?"  
  
"But not when they want to know each other better, which looks like Nick's plan."  
  
"Wait, what? Did _you_ talk to him?"  
  
"Rather _he_ talked to me. He stopped me yesterday after school and asked some _weird_ stuff."  
  
"But weird like socks with sandals or like...?"  
  
Julie had very little ideas but all of them included her ghost band and Nick finding out about them so she really prayed to not be right.  
  
"Weird like asking me what is your favorite flavor of tea, what is your zodiac sign-"  
  
"Unusual but I'm not sure if I would call it weird..."  
  
"I wasn't finished," Flynn responded and looked Julie directly in the eyes. "He also asked what is your size of _gloves_."  
  
"Gloves? We're in California, who wears gloves here?" Reggie asked as he, Alex, and Luke had appeared at Flynn and Julie's table.  
  
The school cafeteria was full of eating, talking, and generally enjoying their lunch break teenagers so chances someone would spot Julie wasn't responding exactly to Flynn's words were insanely low.  
  
"Nick was asking Flynn about them," Julie replied and quickly explained to her best friend that the rest of her band was also there.  
  
"If so, I want to know what they're saying." Flynn pulled out a spare sheet of paper and a pen and moved them towards the boys. "Write down what you want to say. Just _please_ , don't make it a cipher. That's enough I have to read Mr. Clark writing on the board."  
  
"I would say she's determined to prevent us from talking about her behind her back," Luke said but given a strong _do-as-she-said_ glance from Julie, he obediently took the pen and scribbled his thoughts down. " _What else did he ask about?_ "  
  
"Julie's favorite tea, zodiac sign, gloves size, favorite book, and favorite coffee shop..." Flynn answered, counting on her fingers.  
  
The next message on the paper was neat, clearly belonging to Alex.  
  
" _If flirting hasn't changed since 1995, I'd say he wants to catch Julie's attention by preparing her a gift. Even if it's an unusual one._ "  
  
" _Dude, it sounds more like a witch from the Edwardian era._ "  
  
"Reggie, how do you even know how witches in Ed- or you know what, nevermind," Alex left the attempt to catch up with Reggie's knowledge of random facts and focused back on girls. " _What do you think?_ "  
  
"That makes sense," Flynn said, biting her bottom lip. "Given that he really liked dance practice with you and broke up with Carrie... That's not impossible."  
  
"But I've already told him I like someone else!" Julie groaned.  
  
"Aw, Jules, how sweet you have a crush!" Luke teased her, quick to hide his own feeling of relief behind jokes.  
  
Alex elbowed him further between ribs so he shut up.  
  
"If you really told him that... Then it is even weirder. The Nick I know is gentle and respect boundaries."  
  
"I know him that way too."  
  
"Or maybe we just thought we knew him..." Flynn sighed and took a cookie from Julie's lunch box.  
  
"You demon!" she yelled and reached across the table to take what was her.  
  
It looked like nothing had really changed since their third grade when it was common to see them running after each other because 'borrowing' stuff was such a fun game to play. 

  


♦ ♦ ♦

  


The sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon, illuminating the living room in Molina's house with shades of gold and orange. Julie was sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball under the blanket and entirely absorbed by her homework.  
  
"Hey, _mija_ , what are you doing?" Ray Molina approached his daughter and sat near her.  
  
"Just finishing that paper," she replied, taking her glasses off and putting them away. "How was your day?"  
  
"Great, actually. We made some good shots and whole that stuff. What about you?"  
  
"Just a normal day. I've got a lot of homework so we decided that today we're taking a day off from rehearsal... Nothing special."  
  
She could get used to that... Calm afternoons, gigs from time to time, having all her loved ones nearby...  
  
"I'm glad you take care of the school," Her dad smiled brightly, looking down at her, curled under his arm like she was five years old again. He started to play with strands of hair that went free from her braid. It wasn't his own habit but Julie knew he remembered mama used to do this and that she particularly enjoyed it. "I know I've already said it but I really wish I could meet boys. They seem to be very nice and funny, besides I want to thank them for giving you music back."  
  
Julie sighed.  
  
"Maybe someday."  
  
He kissed the top of her head.  
  
"But I'm glad you're here, _mija_. Here with me, safe and sound. I really couldn't ask for more than you and Carlos being all good."  
  
"And I really couldn't ask for a better family, 'cause I already have the best one. Guess the universe sometimes is unjust."  
  
Her dad chuckled softly.  
  
"Fortunately for us, only sometimes."  
  
"Julie, dad! Look!" Carlos almost crashed on the bend but managed to get to them undamaged.  
  
"What's up, _mijo_?"  
  
"I've found that famous monologue! _'To be or not to be, that is the question...'_ That's from _Hamlet_!"  
  
"Truly amazing but I'm pretty sure that isn't a book for your classes..." Her dad said with a light but warning tone.  
  
"I know... It's just... It was one of mama's favorite books. She left her notes and little drawings inside, on sticky notes. I wanted to read something she liked..."  
  
"That's alright, Carlos," She said to calm him down a little. He rarely got stressed over what dad was saying but mentioning mama was always making all of them a little bit more emotional. "I also like to read her copy of _Dead Poets Society_."  
  
"My favorite one is her _Harry Potter_ collection. She was quoting it _all_ the time," dad said and made a place for Carlos on his other side. He took it, smiling brightly, just like dad did. He opened the book and delved back into history. Julie came back to her assignment, using dad's help from time to time.  
  
The night's darkness met them like that, squeezed together on the couch, doing their things, happy to have each other.

  



	2. what I'm risking if I follow you into the unknwon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was soft and gentle, yet so powerful he only wished he had known those words earlier.  
> \--  
> The very same Julie stood up from her bed with face frowned in confusion.  
> \--  
> I knew you'll appreciate it. Okay, I'm going to school but dad and Carlos leave in half an hour so if you need more place to cry, the house is all yours.

"That one went great!" Reggie said, grinning. "I think we're quite ready for that gig Flynn booked us."

"With this song, yes," Julie replied, looking through the sheets of music notes. "But we should play Find the light at least once more."

"Yeah, I agree," Luke sighed, replacing the electric guitar with the acoustic one. Julie hardly insisted on keeping that one song as without-electricity as they could so he didn't even try to object. Her glances could be so strong that he didn't even want to know what her fists had to be when Julie was mad.

"You always agree with what Julie says," Alex scoffed. 

"No, I don't!"

"Oh, man, don't even try to argue with that one," Reggie snorted. "You have no chances of winning."

"And you call yourselves my friends!" he muttered loudly.

"We can be your friends and still expose you."

Julie laughed so loud and suddenly that Luke stumbled and almost broke his guitar. She mumbled 'sorry' but couldn't stop grinning and honestly? He didn't mind at all. He wanted her to be safe and happy so every smile he saw was more treasured than any gold in this world.

"So, we try?" Julie asked after stopping the giggles so they all got up as if on call and nodded they're ready.

_Don't go so far  
Try for one more time  
We can reach the star  
No need for goodbye_

_Together, you and I  
We'll find the dreamland.  
The biggest ally  
Is always a helping hand._

He still couldn't entirely get over the fact that this poetry - there was no way someone could not call it that - was written by Julie and Alex, two of his best friends (no that he had many more of them - only and until Reggie), and that it was written so well that the first time he'd read it, he had to literally sit down. He knew some great song lyrics - heck, he even wrote a couple of quite good pieces himself - but that definitely was another level.

_Find the light  
It's gonna be alright  
Push all the fear away  
And fly_

Luke liked the pre-chorus best: it was soft and gentle, yet so powerful he only wished he had known those words earlier so he could have helped Julie gather strength and bravery when she needed it most.

_The stars will welcome us  
Let's go there and higher  
Let's wander in the light  
Let's feel the wind in our hair  
I'm not gonna leave you  
I hope it's nothing new  
I'll stay through thick and thin  
So let's just begin_

The chorus was slightly louder, not so lullaby-like, filled with support and promise, and that immediately gave him new energy he wanted to share. He turned to Julie that was sitting behind the piano, fingers moving on the keys as they were dancing, or rather flying. She greeted him with a warm smile he instinctively returned. He liked _a lot_ the little connection they had during singing. It was reminding him of hours they'd spent together on writing and playing music, joking around and talking about almost everything in this world or their lives.

_You are not alone  
Whether you like it or not  
'Cause I'm gonna be there  
For better or for worse  
Together we'll fight the night  
We just have to find the light_

He felt the bridge with every fiber in his body, he really did. It was carrying something he couldn't quite put his fingers on but it still was just another piece of genius.

_I'll meet you halfway  
And I promise I'll stay  
We'll go to the dreamland  
Just please take my hand_

The last part was so hopeful... He _loved_ it. It was only Julie singing and if he had ever been wondering how angles sound like... _That_ was it. Last notes lasted in the air for a couple more seconds and then Julie took her hands off the piano, Reggie smiled and Alex relaxed his arms and everything was back to normal.

"That was great!" Luke cheered, feeling this try really was great. Glorious, even! 

Ah, this upcoming gig was going to be spectacular!

"So I think we're done for today," Julie said and approached them. Her a little bit too big, a green hoodie and soft queen-of-it-all energy combo tempted him to hug her tightly every time he looked at her. He was pretty sure that if it didn't stop in a moment, he won't be able to hold up any longer. 

"Maybe tomorrow we'll meet earlier? This gig is big and it's the first time we play more than one song," Alex suggested, as always most organized among the male part of a band. "Julie, you're free?"

"Oh, definitely," she agreed. "I'll do my homework on Sunday, after the gig."

"But you shouldn't let go of your assignments... We don't want your dad to tell you to quit the band!" Reggie exclaimed, looking as it was the worst thing to happen.

Well, he wasn't that wrong.

"Okay, okay, I promise I'll keep up with school!" Julie said quickly, putting her hands up in defense. "Alright, I'm gonna head off for the dinner, and maybe one of you will help me with homework?" 

"I'll try," Luke said before he could even properly considered what he had agreed for.

Julie sent him a little smile and went to the house. He didn't look away at first, staring at the place where she was standing.

"Oh man, you got it _bad_ ," Reggie snorted, smiling knowingly.

"Who wouldn't?" he responded quietly.

  


♦ ♦ ♦ 

  


Luke knocked and it took all his goodwill to not storm in Julie's room before hearing an invitation.

"Hi, how are you?" Julie asked with a warm smile, putting aside her textbook. She promised them to finish at least most of the assignments before the gig so he could only imagine how much work she had to do. "How has your day been?"

"Pretty well, actually," he said, and wanting to enter Julie's room, he stumbled over the shoes left on the floor and almost knocked over boxes stacked in a pile but managed to remain as graceful as ever. "Whoa, what are those for?"

"Just some of my mama's stuff that was on the attic," Julie said. "What are you up to?"

"Why would I be _up_ to anything?" he asked, not sure where it all was going.

"Well, I told you - several times, to be precise - to respect the boundaries and yet you're-"

"But you're here, in the room, so you saw me coming in! A-and I knocked and you said yes!"

Julie looked at him for a moment or two so intensively he thought she'll burn through his soul with this gaze.

"Right," she groaned. She ran her hand over her face as if in an attempt to wipe off the weariness. "Right, I did. I'm sorry, I didn't notice it at all. My brain must've thought you're dad or Carlos. I mean, you _never_ knock."

"That's alright, I just didn't expect I'll get scolded for knocking," he teased. 

"You know what I meant!" She threw a pillow at him that squared him right in the face.

"Oh, you mean-" He wanted to go get and tickle her but stumbled, fell, and crushed into a pile of boxes that fell right on him. He groaned.

Julie was giggling like crazy which did _not_ help him in reclaiming his dignity but it was good to see her like that. Last week must've tired her a lot which didn't go unnoticed.

"Maybe you'll help poor ghost bandmate?" he whined.

"Julie, everything's alright?" Ray Molina himself opened the door and scanned the room with a worrying look.

"Yeah, yeah," Julie quickly assured him. "The boxes just fell, I'll clean them up in a moment."

"Oh, okay." As soon as he closed the door, both Julie and Luke fell into crazy laughter but after a moment Julie managed to at least help him stand up.

"Whoa, look," he said, noticing the box a little bit bigger than the other and definitely heavier than them.

"What?"

"Your mom wrote a note on it."

"What does it say?"

" _This one is for Julie and Julie only._ "

The very same Julie stood up from her bed with face frowned in confusion.

"Why did she- I mean- She never- Mama never sounded like that, she was the most cheerful person I knew, not that... Mysterious or whatsoever."

"She had to be in hurry," Luke pointed out. "Look, the letters are very lopsided. Like her hand was shaking or something."

"Well, let's see what she has left." Julie took the box and placed herself on the floor and looked and him expectantly. "Are you coming or not?"

He froze in the half of a step.

"I thought that if that's for you only, I'll..."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. If I wanted to be alone, I would just open that later, not now."

He smiled shyly and sat near her.

"So, where do we start, boss?"

The box had a greater capacity than it seemed at first and taking out all the little things Julie's mum left her - recipes written on loose papers, candles in all of the possible colors, thousands of fineliners and pens, even more photos - took literally forever.

"Hey, what's that?" He picked one of the envelopes with photos and looked at the first of them.

"Which one? Oh, that." Julie's smile widened as she saw a woman with hair just like hers dancing with a little boy and a girl behind the piano. "Dad took it when I was eleven, I think? That's me playing for mama and Carlos, see? They're dancing. Mama was always dancing..."

"There are people who... They always seem like they're dancing."

Julie sighed. "I just wish I could be like her."

Luke was perfectly sure she truly was her mother's daughter but as he had never meet glorious Mrs. Molina, he figured it wouldn't be very authentic if _he_ said that, no matter how firmly he believed in it.

"You were so tiny," he changed the topic instead. 

"Not taller than 4'9". I remember how freaking proud of myself I was when I finally reached being five feet tall."

"You're still tiny, you know?"

Julie looked at him with new curiosity. "Am I?"

"Yeah. It's hard to not hug you every time I see you."

He was so invested in looking through other photos he wasn't entirely conscious of what he had said. It was always like that when he was with Julie - he felt so safe and at ease that he didn't feel the need to filter his thoughts, he just said what was on his mind.

Julie gently put her hand on his but this time she met nothing more than the air. She awkwardly cleared her throat, disappointed and embarrassed, and came back to looking through things in the box.

"Woah, I didn't know any of mama's books were still hidden," she said and Luke leaned to see what she had. 

Julie wiped the cover of the book with her hand and read the title. " _Power and meaning of colors_. That's highly interesting, I've never heard mama talking about it."

"Maybe she wasn't reading that one much," he suggested.

"I don't think that's a case... It's very well-thumbed, see?"

"The other two are as well." Luke reached to the box and took out the books. " _Glorious matter of safety_ and _Everything between the worlds_."

Julie snorted. "Well, _that_ definitely sounds like normal readings."

"For hundred percent," he grinned. "And they totally don't look like some fantasy novels in ridiculously fantastic, leather covers."

"Totally." Julie put all three books on the shelf under her bedside table. "I'll check what's inside later."

"Yeah? Then what's in your plan now?"

"You're curious?" she leaned forward. 

"If you don't know it by now."

She smiled and sat on her bed, slowly running her fingers over the textbooks.

"Well, I was going to suggest writing the song but as I think of it now, it may be better to work on assignments. After all, it was you, guys, who insisted on it so much..."

He closed his eyes, the words "this is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap" repeating over and over in his head. He knew exactly what Julie was trying to do but it wasn't much help.

"Alright, make me a place," he groaned and settled on the bed next to Julie. "We stopped at the second verse last time, didn't we?"

Julie grinned. "Exactly."

  


♦ ♦ ♦ 

  


Luke had to admit, that light of the sun rising just above the horizon and flooding the garage with gold waves _was_ one of the most breathtaking things he had ever seen.

"It's unbelievable how many things were created in just twenty-five years," Reggie muttered, looking at the list of "must-watch" positions Julie and Flynn had made for them. "And how many of them are necessary to understand the culture of people our age."

"You forgot about the whole social media thing," Luke sighed. "Luckily, we don't have phones so we are physically unable to explore the depths of the Internet."

"Oh, I don't doubt girls will find a way to make us to that too. Flynn is so determined to show us TikTok - whatever it is - that it's slightly disturbing," Alex said, holding a pen just above the list. "Alright, we finished the first season of _Stranger Things_ last week, so I was thinking of... Something lighter?"

"Maybe from Marvel...?" Reggie suggested. "I liked those movies."

"Man, the CGI was amazing!" Luke shrieked. "I wish we had something like that back in '95! Can you imagine how killer performances we could make?" 

"So we're going for... _Infinity War_ , apparently. God, good we have a separate list for MCU, I would never manage to watch it all in order just by titles."

"Which seems to be important," Reggie pointed. "There's a note written in capital letters: _YOU CAN WATCH THAT ONE ONLY IF YOU WATCHED ALL OF THE ABOVE_."

Luke snorted. "It's kinda funny how emotional Julie got about that."

He quickly changed his mind about the whole "kinda funny" thing. Two and a half hours later they were squeezing on the sofa, tissues going from one to another.

"I can't believe they've made us suffer like that," Reggie muttered. "That's _cruel_!"

"I didn't see it coming, not really," Luke agreed.

Alex gasped. "Don't you dare."

"Wait, what?"

"Don't you dare remind us about another terrible death!"

"I didn't- Oh. _Oh_. Ouch, Pietro."

The silence landed, interrupted only by the loud blowing of the nose from time to time. 

"I said we're watching something _lighter_ , guys," Alex complained. "What is lighter about deaths of half of the characters?"

"You say it like we knew it was going to be like that," Reggie responded. "Besides, I don't think they're exactly dead. They just..."

"What, they've just amended into dust?" Luke snorted. 

"Yes! But the others will figure out how to bring them back! They have to! 'Cause please, what else is Tony Stark going to do when the kid he's been responsible for just disappeared in his arms?"

On Luke's left, Alex loudly blew his nose.

"Good morning!" Julie opened garage doors wide and greeted them with a radiant smile. "How has your night been? Any funny stories to share? Or maybe you came up with- Wait, what happened?"

Luke chuckled but in any way, it wasn't an amused chuckle.

"The movie happened. The one you were convincing us that is so good we have to watch it as soon as possible."

"And let me tell you, it was heartbreaking," Reggie added.

"Oh, the _Infinity War_!" Julie clapped her hands as it was wonderful news. "Yeah, that one's depressing... Did you like it?"

Luke loved that girl with all his heart but it was just... A little bit too much.

" _Like_ it? How are we supposed to like something that ruined us?"

"But she's got the point," Alex opposed. "The plot was hard, yes, but guys, the acting? The CGI? The idea?"

Reggie nodded. "Yeah, one of better I've seen, I think."

Julie gave them a wide smile.

"I knew you'll appreciate it. Okay, I'm going to school but dad and Carlos leave in half an hour so if you need more place to cry, the house is all yours."

She waved them and went away, leaving a subtle smell of lavender.

"That's terrible," Luke complained. "I can't even be mad at her for saying it was a good movie 'cause she's always, like, so amazing!"

Reggie chuckled. "I know I've said it a hundred times already but man, you got it bad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was... slow and, hopefully, kind of cozy. but don't worry, greater issues than couple fictional characters being dead are heading the way!
> 
> as always, any pointing out of language mistakes I've made would be much appreciated!
> 
> have a nice day and stay safe!


	3. you've never left my side even when I fell behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was cold - her skin felt like ice and her lips were blue but her smile was warm, gentle, and radiant. It felt like the sun.  
> \--  
> That was a call for war and soon the laughter, groans, and jumping around filled the studio.  
> \--  
> He rubbed her arm to let her know he’s listening and willing to give her the space she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attack 
> 
> if you know you'll sensitive for that kind of thing, you can skip whole first "part" of a chapter (until you'll find three diamonds, like on cards) or from words “First of all, watch your language. Second of all, nothing’s wrong, we’ll just-” until said card diamonds
> 
> I'll summarize what happened at the end of a chapter so you would know what happened
> 
> remember, you're wonderful human being and I love you very much!

Thursday afternoons in Molina's house were always cheerful which wasn't the most expected given it was the middle of a week and Friday was coming everyone's way. Ray was coming home around 2 p.m. and Carlos not much later. It was their turn to cook the dinner, so loud laughter and humming to the songs were filling the home from basement to the last tile. Reggie loved to be around then, chatting, joining music numbers, and just absorbing the warmth of a family.

The pancakes were burning on the pan and, in the first urge, Reggie wanted to point it out to Ray but then remembered he couldn't hear it. He sighed. To be totally unnoticeable was even worse than being intangible or invisible. Way worse.

“Hey, dad, did you know that there were over 900 crew members on Titanic?” Carlos asked, preparing chocolate for a glaze.

Ray looked up from an attempt to save their pancakes. “Yeah?”

“Yes! And only 215 of them survived!”

Reggie chuckled. This kid was incredible - he was restoring in his mind a lot of random facts and Reggie was all here for that. If only he could somehow talk with him…

But maybe…

Maybe he didn’t necessarily have to _talk_. He could go with just… Sharing what he knew.

Reggie - looking carefully at Ray and Carlos so none of them would notice paper and pen floating in the air - took said paper and pen from the table and knelt near the chair to have a solid surface underneath.

_The name of Argentina comes from Latin “argentum” which means “silver” because when first European colonists came to South America, natives gave them silver as a gift._

“Nah, that’s boring,” he murmured and tore off a written fragment of a paper. “Maybe… _Frances Perkins was the first woman appointed to a U.S. president’s cabinet. She was U.S. Secretary of Labor from 1933 to 1945, which is the longest anyone has served in that position._ ” He proudly put the last dot and smiled at the paper. “Yeah, definitely better. Goodness, what an astonishing woman she was.”

He stood up, ready to discreetly pin up the curiosity on the fridge, just in time to see how Carlos wrongly measured the trajectory of his arms and knocked the glass off the counter. The glass shattered all on the floor, making Ray and Carlos jump back.

Carlos hissed. “Damn. I’m sorry, dad.”

“First of all, watch your language. Second of all, nothing’s wrong, we’ll just-”

But Reggie didn’t hear the rest, subsiding into the numbness of memories.

_He watched glass falling from the table once more but this time there was no soothing voice, just a harsh tone of a scold._

_“You little piece of-”_

_“Jacob, shut up! He’s just a kid, he-”_

_His mother didn’t get a chance to finish, desperately trying to loosen her husband’s grip on her throat, panic growing in her eyes. Thirteen years old, a dark-haired boy jumped on the man’s back and started to hit him with his little fists. The man let his mom go, threw him off his back, and then turned._

_“Jacob, hey, calm down. Please, try to calm down.” Reggie’s mom stepped between her son and husband, holding her arms high in first defense. “You’re so tired, aren’t you?”_

_Man’s arms relaxed a little. The boy managed to sit._

_“We don’t we go to the kitchen, hm? I’ll make you some toasts.”_

_The man nodded and went to the kitchen. The woman crouched down in front of her son and looked him in the eyes._

_“Maybe go to Pattersons, honey, I’m sure Luke will be happy to play with you. I’ll call them and ask if you can stay for a sleepover, what do you think?”_

_Thirteen years old Reggie nodded and memory faded away._

The darkness was cold, making him shiver. He forced himself to keep his eyes open. Alex said it would help, especially if he’ll focus on one thing.

The door slammed when a person in a lavender cardigan came.

“You’re a little later than usual,” Ray pointed out softly. “Has something happened?”

“No, no,” A person replied and Reggie realized it was Julie. “Nick needed my help with understanding one thing from history and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to help him.”

His hands were trembling so he put them on his knees. He was sitting on the floor but didn’t remember the moment he had sat down. Julie must’ve spotted him ‘cause she started to march right towards him but then remembered about her dad and brother and stopped.

“Flynn’s calling,” she blurted and took the phone out of her pocket. “Let me just quickly check what she needs and I’ll be right back, okay?”

Wood the table was deeply brown, barely machined.

_“It’s all your fault!”_

_“No, Jacob. It’s all on you. I tried to help you but I cannot overcome alcohol only by my will. You have to want that too!”_

“I hope nothing bad happened to her.”

“Nah, probably just don’t know which crayons to choose to color her calm-down-coloring-book.”

Julie put the phone to her ear and approached him.

“Hey, Reggie,” she whispered. “What’s happening?”

_“What the hell were you thinking? Don’t you know me enough to predict it couldn’t go well?”_

_“Be quieter, Reggie’s gonna hear and we don’t want him to be stressed more than he already is.”_

_“I just- Will he be afraid of me? What if he’ll be afraid of his own father, Penny?”_

_“Shhh… It’s gonna be okay… Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ll explain to him that you met some old friend and that he wasn’t the nicest one and fought you and you were afraid he’ll also attack Reggie himself so you had to fight back. After all, this is what happened, isn’t it?”_

“Reggie, please, look at me,” Julie’s voice was gentle, kind. “Just look up so I know you hear me, okay?”

He panicked for a moment even more because it felt like an impossible thing to do but, in the end, he looked right into Julie’s eyes.

“Breath with me,” she asked. “Long inhale. Long exhale. Long inhale…” It was hard at first but seeing Julie calm and breathing somehow helped him believe he could calm down as well. He wanted to calm down. It was just that… His chest was aching from nothing, and breaths were shallower than he wanted, and his heart was pounding like crazy.

“Can you tell me what you need?”

What did he need? Reggie didn’t know. He had no idea what could help and what he needed and oh goodness, he knew that all he wanted was to not disappoint Julie and to not worry her more and to… Why was breathing so hard?

“Hey, Reggie. Inhale. Exhale. I know you can get through it.”

He looked up at her. She didn’t seem mad. Maybe she really wasn’t.

“Touch my hand if I can hug you, ok?” She stretched her hand forward. After a moment, he put his palm in her. She was cold - her skin felt like ice and her lips were blue but her smile was warm, gentle, and radiant. It felt like the sun. He tried to focus on that feeling, used it to pull himself out of his own thoughts and anxiety.

“Here we go,” Julie whispered. “Very good, Reggie. I am so proud of you.”

He was focusing on her - curly hair, soft cardigan, cold skin - and it seemed to be helping. He was so glad it did. Julie leaned and hugged him gently.

After a long, long moment, she pulled back and smiled at him. “We don’t we go to the studio? I’m sure Luke and Alex will take care of you.”

♦ ♦ ♦

Reggie slowly opened his eyes. The studio was plunged into the darkness and he could barely see his hands.

“What time must it be?” he whispered.

Luke groaned. “I don’t know, man.”

He was leaning against the couch, head near Reggie’s legs as he was laying on Alex’s lap.

“Shut up, you both. Someone’s trying to actually get some sleep.”

“Don’t be a fret, Alex. We all know we cannot properly sleep anymore and that we don’t need physical rest as we don’t really have physical bodies,” Luke snapped with a teasing smile.

“My God, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giving so composed arguments.”

“That’s because we never talk in ungodly hours like that.”

Reggie snickered. “I don’t think that’s a case.”

“And you also are against me, Reg?” Luke twisted his neck to look at him with something which was - probably - supposed to be a grave gaze but because of angle, didn’t really have a chance to be.

“Not at all,” he said, smiling widely. It was so good to be with them…

Alex was smiling too - in his own sarcastic manner - but nevertheless smiling. His eyes were darting the studio, stopping from time to time to watch something closer. Or maybe just remember some particular memory. “It feels like ages since we landed here,” he whispered. “It’s kinda funny how much we wanted to stay with a girl we knew nothing about.”

“Maybe for you,” Reggie said. “I felt… I felt so warm around her, even when she was screaming her lungs out. Her presence… It was… And still is… So _radiant_.”

“But at the same time, she’s the gentlest person I’ve ever met,” Luke added. “Not to mention how freaking talented and hard-working she is.”

Alex smiled fondly to his thoughts.“It amazes me a little bit how quickly she fitted into our group. Remember, how hard it was with Bobby sometimes? Just because he had been a friend only from high school and not elementary school? And Julie came and just…”

“Occurred to be a missing piece of a puzzle,” Luke finished with a happy sigh.

“I’m glad we’ve found each other,” Reggie whispered.

Alex ran his fingers through Reggie’s hair. “I am too, she’s- My God, guys, do you see that too?”

“What?” Luke turned to them, searching for whatever Alex was so alarmed of.

“A twine.”

“A twine?”

“A brown twine itself. You really don’t see it? But it’s tangling us around, goes outside-”

“We’re sorry, Alex, but I don’t see any twine,” Reggie said softly.

“I must’ve imagined it for some reason,” Alex responded slowly. “It’s gone now, so that definitely was my imagination.”

Luke shrugged. “If you say so.”

“You know, I’m getting nervous about that gig,” Reggie quickly changed the topic. “I am perfectly aware we still have two days to it and we practiced for dozens of hours but-”

“But you still think something will go wrong?”

“Maybe not that pessimistic, Alex, but yeah, kinda.”

“We’re gonna do great, boys!” Luke exclaimed enthusiastically. “I know we will!”

Luke’s optimism about _everything_ was always the bright spot of every situation. Reggie could make some good, humorous reliefs, yes, but Luke’s belief that everything’s gonna be alright was _enormous_ , sometimes almost overwhelming.

“We finally will,” Alex sighed. “Do you realize it’s only the second time we’ll perform with Julie without Caleb’s stamps?”

“...You’re right,” Reggie said. “Goodness, that just shows how short we’ve been, well, here.”

“And we made a beautiful cycle that’s coming back to Julie and our first meeting.”

Luke threw a pillow and squared it in Alex’s face.

“Ouch! What was that for?”

Luke shrugged. “I was getting bored but I can’t play music in the middle of the night.”

“And you figured it’s a good idea to harm your bandmate?”

“And I figured it’s a good idea to start a pillow fight!” He grabbed another pillow and tossed it into Reggie’s legs.

That was a call for war and soon the laughter, groans, and jumping around filled the studio. Reggie doubted they’d be much louder playing music but it didn’t seem to matter.

♦ ♦ ♦

“I can’t believe you were actually able to sit still for so long!” Julie laughed. She opened her locker and tucked books inside. “I always perceived you as the most bustling one but here I am, concluding that one’s on Luke.”

“To be honest, you’re actually fidgeting the most from us, especially with your hands or legs,” Reggie pointed out, trying to do that as softly and non-accusing as he could.

“Really?”

“Yeah… I’ve been watching you that whole hour and sure, you were listening - even if I have no idea how you managed to remain focused on _geometry_ \- but at the same time, you played _Find the light_ with your right hand twice, danced something with your feet, doodled the whole page in your notebook and I only waited for you to start braiding Flynn’s hair, doesn’t matter they’re already braided.”

Julie sighed and turned to exit. “Woah. A lot of observations.”

“I didn’t mean anything bad!” He put his hands up in defense. “I just thought I'd share-”

“Hey, that’s alright.” Julie hesitantly put her hand on his shoulder. “I just didn’t expect someone would give all my tics that much attention.”

“You’re my younger sister, of course I give you attention!”

Julie tilted her head and chuckled softly. “Younger sister?”

He tensed. “I didn’t mean- I just wanted- If you don’t-”

“I’d love to be your younger sister!” Julie interrupted him cheerfully and when they disappeared behind the corner, she tightly hugged him. She stepped back after a moment and tucked her hair behind the ear with sudden shyness. “If that’s alright for you, of course.”

He grinned. “Perfectly okay, Jules.”

He offered her his arm and together they walked to a nearby park. They laid down on the grass, facing the afternoon sun.

“It feels good,” Julie sighed.

He smiled. “It does.”

She turned her face to him and shot a quick glare. “Can I tell you something?” she asked quietly.

“Of course, _conejito_.”

She snickered. “How do you know that nickname?”

“I, uh… I may or may not have heard your dad calling you this?”

Julie chuckled. “Do you even know what that means?”

“...No?”

“It's a little bunny.” She moved closer and curled under his arm. “And I think I like being called like that by my big brother.”

Reggie smiled, feeling warmth flooding his chest. “You wanted to tell me something?”

“Yeah…” It took Julie a while to gather her thoughts and when she spoke again, she was quiet and little and _vulnerable_ and Reggie instinctively hugged her tighter. “I was wondering… When mom died, I thought I would never be happy again. Nor cheerful or just, you know, content. I thought it would be a betrayal that I’m happy without her, even though everyone was saying there’s nothing bad about laughing and smiling and enjoying things. I just couldn’t do it, not without her. And I think that’s also why I wasn’t playing for so long… I didn’t feel right to cherish music when she wasn’t there anymore to cherish it with me. It wasn’t the only thing but hey, the year’s a long time, isn’t it? I think I had a few excuses and fears…”

Reggie rubbed her arm to let her know he’s listening and willing to give her the space she needed.

“After a while, I stopped thinking being happy without her was a betrayal but I still couldn’t find myself smiling a lot, you know? I wanted it so badly, I wanted to come back to normal but it all was… It was so exhausting."

He gave her a little kiss on her hair. “You know you don’t have to say anything that’s making you uncomfortable, right? Even if it leaves a hole in a story.”

“Thanks,” she whispered. “But I think I need to tell it to someone.”

“I’m all my ears, then.”

So Julie began to tell him about what was happening throughout the past year. About the tears of helplessness, the urge to feel happy, and about the emptiness, feeling unable of taking all that was happening in her life and controlling it. About how little, tiniest of tiny things slowly made it better - Flynn’s pep talks, sweets her dad was making, Carlos’ tight hugs, listening to more and more songs. They both laughed at Luke’s unstoppable enthusiasm for writing sessions late into the night, Alex’s pacing whenever he wanted to boost his imagination and creative skills, Julie’s immense love for butterflies and shoving them everywhere, Reggie’s attempts to learn how to bake, just every single at least slightly funny thing that happened since the boys had shown up.

“I’m so glad Luke went to talk to you the first evening,” he chuckled, remembering the quarrel over who should go talk to Julie. “Goodness, he was so nervous. Not that it stopped him from saying he’s the only right one to convince you.”

Julie laughed. “That sounds like him.”

“Yeah, it does.”

They fell into a comfortable silence for a while. The sun was getting orange and the temperature dropped and Reggie was going to propose coming back home when Julie blurted:

“Do you think that by helping others you help yourself? Or is it more like those words from _Klaus_ … _A true act of selflessness always sparks another_?”

“Well…” he trailed off. “I’d say it can be both but… I don’t know, it feels like the second is somehow truer. ‘Cause you know, sometimes we can’t help ourselves, whether it’s because we’re not strong enough or because we don’t know how… But for me, it was always much easier to come up with an idea of how to help others. I was just, uhm, seeing it. I think I can just glance at Alex and know whether he needs a hug or to talk to someone or just a friendly presence. Or to be around Luke for a moment and know if a jamming session would ease his bad mood or something more is needed. And I believe everyone can do this too, especially to their loved ones. I believe it’s something you can train, like a skill. I think it is a certain skill, to want to see where you can help. And when you do help, others - maybe naturally not so good-willed and caring - can find it easier to help you back. I think it's very much a chain of kindness.”

In the light of the late sun, Julie’s hair seemed to glow. “That’s so, so wise what you’ve just said,” she whispered. “I wish I would be as good-hearted one day as you are.”

“You already are, _conejito_. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t listen to Carlos’ rants every time and you wouldn’t be helping Nick from your school with geometry and you wouldn't put an effort to be patient with Luke and you wouldn’t try to understand how people behave so you could be there for them. You’re one of the gentlest, most caring, and determined to protect others person I know, and I am so, _so_ proud to be your big brother.”

Julie kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Reggie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> summarization of what happened in first part of a chapter:  
> \- Reggie was hanging out in Molina's kitchen with Ray and Carlos  
> \- Carlos was sharing some random facts with his dad and Reggie figured he'd like to talk about curiosities with Carlos but he can't, so he wrote some down and wanted to pin them up on a fridge  
> \- when Carlos knocked the glass off the counter (by accident), Reggie fell into memories about his parents and had a panic attack  
> \- Julie came back from school and calmed him down a little, just enough to help him to go to the studio where Luke and Alex were
> 
> thanks for eveyrone who came this far ;) I'm in deep despise for setting up the story but I don't want to rush anything to keep it somewhere in-between full action, monsters and harms plot and homely story about everyone adopting eveyrone but ugh, can't it just write itself? also, hopefully, next chapter will come quicker than this one but I cannot promise anything - you know, school and that kind of stuff
> 
> as always, any pointing out of language mistakes I've made would be much appreciated!
> 
> have a nice day and stay safe!


	4. we keep this love in a photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flynn eagerly took her place. There was a lot of the most different stuff: monthly rankings of the best songs, seashells, half-written lyrics, bookstores bills, old toys of baby Julie and Carlos, letters…  
> \---  
> The cool store warmed up along with Flynn feeling a little bit lighter and happier than before.

Usually, Flynn wasn’t having problems with focusing. It was almost like her habit, to sit down and work without getting distracted. She could easily ignore noises, and notifications, and any sort of getting annoyed by her little brothers who constantly wanted her to imitate helicopter buzzing.

But Friday evenings were always… _hard_.

Boys would be loud but mom and dad… They would… Not be louder, just… Ignoring her more than usual. She hated it every single time and almost every time, she was running away to Julie. She saw no problem with doing that now which would explain why all she needed to do was add a laptop, charger, and a wallet to the already prepared bag, grab her phone and sweatshirt and run down to the doors.

"I'll be at Julie's," she said but her mom didn't even look up from the book, only nodded. Flynn sighed and went outside. It wasn't that she expected her mom to be interested, she just… It would be nice to see some effort.

“Flynn, so nice to see you!” Ray opened the door and greeted her with a warm hug. “Julie is upstairs. Do you want something to drink?”

“Thanks, I think I’ll just…”

“Of course.” He smiled and came back to the kitchen.

The first thing Julie did when she had come was hugging her so tightly that for a moment, Flynn was sure she would strangle her.

“Everything’s okay? At least a little?” Julie stepped back an arm's length and looked at her carefully. “Can I somehow help you?”

Flynn chuckled with a smirk but inside, melted from friend’s care. “Just, you know, usual escape. What were you doing?”

“Tidying my closet, isn’t it kinda obvious?”

Flynn frowned. “Nah, Jules, you’re not tidying your closet. At least not only for tidying's sake and we both know that. Something happened or is happening and you’re hiding here. What is it really about?”

“...Avoiding boys by saying I have a closet to tidy?”

“Well, this is not what I was prepared to hear,” she trailed. “What did they do?”

Julie sat on the floor and started to fold clothes scattered everywhere. “Nothing, it’s just… I am the only girl in the house now, you know, and sometimes it gets to be a lot…”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty because of your basic need of having time for yourself, Jules,” Flynn said gently and squeezed her hand. “And don’t you even try to deny that you feel guilty, I know that tone.”

Julie snickered. “You know me so well.”

“Duh.”

She would be an awful friend if she couldn’t tell when Julie was upset or happy or tired.

“Alright, I see you have an absolute mess here and you know I cannot stand it,” Flynn said and sat straighter. “It’s time for glorious faster tidying!”

Julie laughed but nodded her head obediently. “As you wish, ma’am.”

Flynn stuck out her tongue and started to help Julie with clothes and things on her desk. Three mysterious, big boxes were standing in the corner and it took all her will to not ask what’s in them - solely because she saw Julie’s mama writing at the top.

“You’re glaring at my boxes from the attic,” Julie exclaimed.

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, just- Okay, maybe I am a little. But Jules, you know I'm a curious cat and I can’t ignore three strange, unfamiliar boxes in your bedroom that definitely weren’t here last week!”

Julie patted a spot beside her. “Come here, I’ll show you.”

Flynn eagerly took her place. There was a lot of the most different stuff: monthly rankings of the best songs, seashells, half-written lyrics, bookstores bills, old toys of baby Julie and Carlos, letters… She liked to see all of it so much but, at the same time, it was so… hard. Making her realize how much she actually missed mama.

Because - let’s be honest - Julie’s mama was her mom so much more than her own, actual, biological mother would ever be.

“What’s this?” Flynn took out the smaller box hidden at the bottom of a big one.

Julie sighed. “I think photos. Mama’s glorious collection of polaroids.”

“You wanna look at them for a sec?”

“I… Actually, I do. But I’m not gonna lie, it’s so much easier because you’re here with me. Thank you.”

Flynn smiled gently and squeezed Julie’s hand once more. “Always at your service.”

Julie snickered and nodded her head with an artificially serious smile.

The amount of polaroids mama had collected was astounding. The earliest ones were from high school and didn’t capture many more people than family, mama herself and two of her friends - always smiling but the calm girl with golden curls and hands covered in ink stains, Ophelia, and clingy, always wearing something green or white girl with skin like hot chocolate, Cindy. Flynn flipped through photos, smiling at the captions.

_May I represent to you two amazingly dumb idiots who thought the contest of "who can fit the most marshmallows in the mouth" was a good idea. 1992._

It had to be taken by Ophelia, showing mama and Cindy with their mouths glued with marshmallows but stretched in a smile. On the next one, Ophelia and mama were sitting on the floor, surrounded with notes and binders and pens.

_I am still wondering how we managed to actually sit down and study because goodness gracious, Ophelia’s grandma must have made up her mind to teach us how to cook, even if she would have to tie us to the chairs in the kitchen. 1992._

The next one was mama sitting at the piano and playing some melody.

_She’s gonna be a legend someday, I know it. 1993._

There were so many of them: Cindy fighting with a wooden sword ( _she’s gonna get herself killed, I tell you. 1993_ ), Ophelia and mama making flower crowns ( _they’re literal angels, I’m blessed_ ), mama herself posing on the beach ( _I know I said I adore sunsets but goodness gracious, she’s even more beautiful than them_ ), Cindy and Ophelia giggling ( _and here we go again, two treacherous friends making fun of me because I admitted I may like Ray. 1994_ ). From that moment Ray became a permanent part of a group and was on the photos not much less than other girls: Ray and Cindy leaning over the open hood of the car and mama laying on the asphalt ( _I swear that if they don’t figure out how to fix this thing soon, I’m gonna slap them. 1994_ ), Ophelia and Ray making gingerbread cookies ( _I and Cindy were close to eating everything but for some reason, they didn’t let us_ ), mama and Ray kissing on the swing in a garden ( _they’re disgusting but adorable but dumb but cute together. 1995_ ). Both girls disappeared after 95’ and from now on the camera was focusing mainly on family, Ray, and their mutual group of friends.

“Oh my God…” Julie was holding one of the photos and staring at it with teary eyes. “It’s… Me.”

Flynn leaned to see what her friend got so emotional about. It was a USG photo, black and white, with a lighter shape in the middle. She could easily distinguish the head and the rest of the body. It was an embryo, yes, but dated for a 2004 comment underneath - _Good morning, our little star! Only three months and you’ll be here with us!_ \- made clear it actually was Julie.

“You were so sweet!” Flynn teased.

“I was naked, physically unable to live on my own, human-like creation,” Julie snapped back. “But thank you.”

After that, polaroids were more and more about the Molina family. Four years old Julie with a huge smile right after playing her first melody ( _who’s the most talented toddler in the world? 2007_ ), newborn Carlos in mama’s arms ( _welcome home, darling! 2008_ ), Ray and Victoria singing karaoke ( _children are finally asleep, please don’t ruin it. 2010_ ), smiling Julie with butterfly clips in her hair ( _she really is her mother’s daughter. 2011_ ), the whole family at the beach ( _I swear we were the loudest picnic. 2012_ ), Julie and mama singing together in the kitchen ( _breakfast would be ready so much faster if they weren’t trying to sing the whole musical but they’re too adorable and I love them too much to stop that. 2014_ ), Ray giving Carlos a piggyback ride ( _never thought that Ray’s back would be the best place to observe the world but here we are. 2015_ ), mama writing something on the piano ( _guess who just wrote the very first song with her daughter. 2016_ ). It looked like even though they were further and further into the twenty-first century, mama wanted to keep on with polaroids.

Flynn furiously wiped her eyes, feeling they’re filling with tears. She didn’t want or need to cry. She had to be strong because God only knows how hard it must be for Julie to look all over those photos. No need for crying herself. “Shhh, sweetie,” Julie hugged her gently.

Flynn sobbed into her arm. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Julie whispered and started to rub her back. “You said it yourself, no one should feel guilty about their basic needs. Sometimes the need is to cry and that’s totally, completely okay. I got you.”

She didn’t want to fall apart but here she was, crying and sobbing and taking pleasure in someone being there to hold her.

♦ ♦ ♦

“I tell you, it’s gonna look awesome!”

“I don’t know, Flynn… Except for the Orpheum, we didn’t really… You know, dress up in something extremely special.”

“But now you’re after Orpheum! Girl, you’ve been supporting freaking Panic At The Disco! It’s huge!”

“But now we came back to smaller gigs…”

“My Lord, Julie, you really need to stop sabotaging my attempt to help you go big,” Flynn sighed heavily and only half of the heaviness was for drama. “Besides, it’s not like you’ve played a lot of gigs anyway. We can as well establish your image as a group of great friends with refreshing music and killing looks.”

Julie went silent for a moment but then sighed and finally agreed. “Okay, fine. We’ll do it your way. But please, remember it cannot be too Halloween, we still have a week to that!”

“Copy that, boss!” Flynn saluted even though Julie couldn’t really see her. “Two to three hours and I am back with whole Narnia with me!”

Julie chuckled. “Just remember, sweetie, that Narnia was a whole other land inside of a wardrobe.”

“Exactly!”

Oh Lord, she was exactly the most excited person on the earth.

Local thrift store greeted her with cool air and Shape of you coming from the speakers. Flynn took a deep breath and dove between the hangers. It was going to be so much fun!

“Alex is pink, obviously. Julie takes purple… It leaves orange and I still have two himbos to match. Ugh, why couldn’t I come up with a four-colored theme?” she mumbled, searching through clothes. “Unless it won't be about colors… Oh Lord, I love my mind.”

Flynn moved so fast she tripped over her own legs and nearly fell out but the excitement was too big to worry that someone could see this embarrassing episode. She ran back to the jackets section and quickly searched for a leather one.

Reggie - passed.

Looking for a jean jacket that was actually in a light tone was a little bit more challenging but eventually went as planned.

Alex - passed.

Now she needed to come up with something for Luke. May the faeries screw his allergy for sleeves or she would have to do it herself. She had never seen him in a vest so it came off right away, the same with any sort of jacket. But it also couldn’t be pants or t-shirts or-

Flannels. Luke could wear a flannel tied around his waist. This way he wouldn’t have to give up a sleeveless shirt but her magnificent plan still will be possible. Flynn smiled widely and with new energy came back to searching. Julie’s costume was already safely hidden in the studio because when Flynn spotted it a week ago, she couldn’t risk someone else buying it.

“Hey! Watch how you’re walking- Carrie? What are you doing here?” Flynn blurted one word after another. “Has something happened? Not that you would tell me, I just- Alright, I should shut up.”

“First of all, it’s you who bumped into me,” Carrie replied but her voice was quiet as if she was… Broken a little bit. But it was just Flynn’s imagination, no one could break Carrie Freaking Wilson. “Second of all, you’re not the only one shopping here.”

For some reason, it surprised Flynn to her former-friend-now-school-opponent in a hoodie and leggings and messy ponytail. But she didn’t judge, everyone needed to wear the comfiest clothes that are in the closet from time to time.

She bounced on her heels. “So… You want something from me?”

“No, no,” Carrie sighed and ran her hand over her face. “I just- Nevermind.”

“You can tell me.” Flynn knew her soft tone didn’t feel authentic because, well, they were closer to being enemies than ever but it couldn’t hurt her to be kind once more, right? “Do you need my help with something?”

“I don’t want to burden you…”

Whatever higher force had this miserable world under control, she must’ve had great pleasure in throwing balls of surprises into Flynn.

And yes, the higher force definitely was a woman. Only a woman would be able to come up with such a precise and effective way of messing up Flynn’s life, she was sure about that.

“You won’t,” Flynn assured Carrie as quickly as she woke up from the mild shock she had just experienced. “I’d be happy to help you.”

Okay, the last part was a little lie but hey, being a better person always starts with doing something out of your comfort zone, right?

“If you really don’t mind then… Gosh, it feels so not right to say that.” Carrie flustered a little and everything in her was screaming “I want to walk away!” but this time, it didn’t look like she wanted to do it because of an unpleasant meeting - more like she didn’t want to get hurt and her body was trying to avoid harm.

“So we’ll get to it another way,” Flynn decided quickly, now weirdly determined to not let Carrie go away with nothing. “I’ll try to guess, okay?”

Carrie nodded and her expression softened a little. “Okay.”

“You’re buying something for yourself?”

Carrie shook her head.

“Maybe something to try sewing? Any kind of DIY?”

Also not that.

Flynn bit her lip. She knew so little about Carrie it felt impossible to guess. They parted not earlier than a year and a half ago and yet, they both had changed so much since then… Though once she, Julie, and Carrie were able to look each other in the eye and know what they think, now Flynn knew nothing except the fact that Carrie usually acted meanly and had her own band… And that band definitely needed costumes.

“It’s for Dirty Candi?”

Carrie smiled with relief. “Yes. I’m collecting a new series of clothes and I still lack orange and purple.”

“You came to the right person,” Flynn clapped her hands with excitement. “I’m the queen of finding the right stuff!”

Carrie snickered. “So lead the way, your majesty.”

They spent literally two hours rummaging among hangers and shelves, comparing colors and cuts, almost dying from laughter over funny stories and teasing. The cool store warmed up along with Flynn feeling a little bit lighter and happier than before. Carrie also seemed to feel better, more relaxed. When they left, it turned out that the sky had already turned purple and dark pink, hanging above them like a beautiful painting. The air was thick, warm, streets lazy, everything quiet and calm. They were walking in silence but it didn’t really feel uncomfortable. It was… Alright. But even this had to end when they had to part as Carrie needed to turn right if she wanted to go home.

“So… I’ll see you at school?” Carrie asked quietly.

“Sure you will.” Flynn grinned. “But who knows if you won’t receive some content from me on Messenger. You know, I’m pretty fluent in Pinterest and it has the most beautiful images and I feel like you can understand my admiration of.”

Carrie chuckled. “So I will be waiting.”

She turned on her heel and walked away. Flynn sighed slightly, only starting to realize that she had just made up with Carrie Freaking Wilson. It was such a crazy afternoon she almost forgot she still had four costumes to make. Fortunately, she wasn’t going to do that all on her own, oh no.

“Listen up, everyone,” she stated firmly, putting bags on the table in the studio and trying to not look confused because of not seeing three-quarters of the band. “We have twenty-four hours and plenty to do so in ten minutes you’re all here ready to work for long, long hours.”

“I see you have a strict schedule for us,” Julie laughed. “Do we need any supplies that aren’t here? I’ll grab them on my way to get us snacks.”

“I admit a hot glue, needles, and threads of all colors of the rainbow would be nice to have.”

“No, Luke, you’re not too manly to sew and you will do it, whether you like this idea or not,” Julie replied somewhere in the air where, as Flynn assumed, Luke was placed. “Oh shut up, your park rat colony isn’t more important than our gig. You won’t convince me you really care about those rats more than the music, we all know how important it is to you.”

Flynn snickered. “You really thought you could argue with her? With freaking Julie Molina? Oh boys, you still have so much to learn…”

She high-fived Julie and assisted her on the quest to getting snacks and the rest of the supplies. When they came back, the table was moved to the middle of a room, all the pillows and blankets that were there taken out and placed all around the place.

“Looks like someone’s planning a long night here,” Flynn snickered.

“Alex says you said it yourself and he isn’t going to, and I quote, _get his ghostbutt frostbitten_ ,” Julie replied, smirking.

“I thought they can’t get hurt as they don’t have, you know, bodies.”

Julie leaned to her and whispered conspiratorially. “Shhh, they don’t like to be reminded of that.”

“Which gives me, first, a wonderful thing to tease them about and second, an opportunity to skip the small talk and get down to our business.” Flynn reached for her purse and with a proud smile, took away things she had bought besides the clothes. “Dear band I am manager and marketing team of,” she began in a solemn tone. “May I represent to you a new astonishing idea of how you’ll be dressed!” The pouches with rhinestones in all possible colors landed on the table with a soft tap.

Julie immediately reached for one and her face brightened up with a smile. “I see it now! We’re gonna make our own patterns on our outer garments! That’s why you bought a leather jacket for Reggie, a jean one for Alex and another flannel for Luke! Flynn, that’s brilliant!” She leaned and hugged her tightly.

“Glad you like it.”

“I love it!”

Other pouches were flying in the air, along with some rhinestones as boys must’ve also got interested in what they were gonna do.

“Oh my gosh, Reggie, yes! It’s brilliant!” Julie exclaimed but one of the boys must’ve said something more because she quickly added: “No, no, no, Alex, don’t even try to oppose. And don’t worry, no one will make problems because your sparkles will be pink!”

Flynn sighed. She got used to not hearing a major part of a conversation but it always was hard. She felt like she knew the boys, she could even say she quite liked them and it was so weird because she had only seen them, like, a couple of times.

"Ummm, Flynn?" Julie whispered after a moment, shyly tucking hair behind her ear. "The things you brought guys are amazing but I was wondering... Do you have anything planned for me? If you just didn't find something right that's okay, I'll use something from mama's chest. I was just, you know, curious."

Flynn sent her wide, proud smile. "Of course I didn't forget!"

She kneeled down and reached for a small box hidden behind the couch. Julie took it and opened with glimpse of hesitation. 

"Go ahead, look at it," Flynn encouraged her.

Julie carefully grabbed her costume and lifted it. For a moment she was completely silent and Flynn was afraid she didn't like it, but then Julie hugged her with soft laughter of surprise and delight.

"It's beautiful!" she shrieked. "Absolutely, completely, utterly beautiful! Thank you!"

"I'm so happy you like it," Flynn replied, looking one more time at white blouse that was made of something like corset bustier with a layer of tulle blouse with long sleeves on it. "I didn't know if purple wouldn't be better..."

"This one's okay! It'll make great contrast with my skin and I can add purple embroidery! And silver rhinestones! Oh my gosh, I already see it, it's gonna be beautiful!"

Flynn smiled, feeling warmth growing in her chest. It was so good to see Julie finally getting excited over things again, but also being happy about tiny, everyday things, such as pretty outfit. 

"If we want it to be the most amazing blouse on the most astounding girl in the whole Los Angeles, we better hustle!" Flynn exclaimed, grabbing scissors.

The first two and half hours of work occurred that Reggie was surprisingly good in sewing and was able to have a quite in-depth conversation about it with Flynn via Julie, Luke was genius in terms of coming up with patterns they should make on the clothes, Julie panicked at least once a quarter that she glued something crookedly and that, working together, they were able to find a way for the boys to not have to write on the paper and use the speech-to-text tool instead. She had no idea how the phone was able to catch sound waves that were coming from someone who didn't have a solid body but she was more than glad it worked. Before 10 p.m. Ray brought them food and Flynn had to admit he’s the best man in this world once more.

“Thank you so much, _papi_.” Julie hugged him tightly.

“With pleasure, _mija_ ,” he answered with a wide smile. “You girls have a lot to do, huh?”

“Yeah, the rhinestones are tiny but our fingers aren’t,” Flynn said, taking a bite of the tortilla.

“Well, I was about to offer my help but my hands are even bigger than yours so I guess all I can do is to make sure you’ll eat, drink and have a warm place to sleep. What about a spontaneous sleepover in the studio, hm?”

It took all of Flynn’s willpower not to start jumping out of joy. “Julie, your dad is a treasure. We have to protect him.”

Julie seriously nodded her head. “Oh yes, I know. We should install some barbed wire around the house, maybe a laser trap.”

Ray chuckled and shook his head. “You two are truly the best and believe me, all I need to be happy is to know that you two are safe.”

He kissed them on the heads and came back to the house. Flynn swore she had melted inside a little bit but was quickly woken up back to reality by rhinestones, scissors, and pillows flying around the room. She smiled to herself, feeling that she might not be in a band as a playing member, but she definitely was part of something bigger than herself. Even if bigger meant only a family with an absolutely fantastic dad, her best friend since forever, amazing younger brother and aunt, and three ghostly himbos from another realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we go again! the gig is closer and closer and I'm not saying it's gonna be big but it will be a little bit. also it looks like ten days time updating is my kind of thing 😅
> 
> as I most probably won't come another chapter next week, I would like to wish you all very Merry Christmas - may you find health, and joy, and hope, and beauty, and peace, and, above it all, love! 
> 
> with kisses,  
> Wiktoria 😘


	5. haunted by the ghost of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knew that voice too well to mistake it for any else.  
> \---  
> Not that they were planning on staying invisible - they still had two more songs to kill.

Alex swore that if it wasn’t Julie who asked them to ride with her, he would never agree to share the car's space with two male bandmates of his.

“Luke, stop trying messing up with the radio, or I will find a way to strangle you,” Julie hissed and with quite surprising strength she pulled the boy away from the console.

“You said something?” her dad asked.

“No, no, just, uhm, rehearsing the lyrics once more,” she blurted and gave the boys a death glare.

“I think it’s our cue to calm down a little,” Alex said slowly. “I’m positive Julie won’t have many problems with yelling the hell out of us after the gig if we still do, well, this.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right…” Luke sighed. “But I am pretty sure that some better music would help us to be good boys,” he added louder.

Julie sighed but changed station for one with rock music.

“Man, you better stop annoying her.” Luke was sitting in the middle so Alex didn’t have to do a lot to reach him. “She’s nervous and you’re only making it worse if you can’t tell by now.”

“I didn’t mean to- I just- Really?”

“Yea. Last evening before the gig wasn’t the nicest in her life, don’t you think?”

Luke sighed and nodded. “You’re right. Thanks, bud.”

Alex sent him a smile. “Always happy to help.”

Ten minutes later they finally reached The Hill - the building greeted them with bright, orange neon and the line waiting to come in. They asked one of the employees where they can take in their stuff and were directed into a dark, obscure alley.

“You’re here!” Flynn greeted them and hugged Julie as she stepped out of the car.

“I am,” Julie laughed and returned the embrace. “Luckily not alone.”

Alex melted a little at her fond, relieved tone. He really hated how they had left her at the night of the Orpheum gig, even though he - in theory- knew it wasn’t their direct fault.

“Alright, I guess we better come in. Don’t wanna be late, huh?” Ray said over his arm, taking Julie's digital piano out of the car trunk. “Besides I’m sure you’d like to have a little time for yourself before,” he added and the three of them went inside the building.

“We’re right after you!” Reggie said and was just about to step inside when the low, quiet voice behind them asked:

“Please, wait.”

Alex froze. He knew that voice too well to mistake it for any else.

“Willie?” He turned so quickly he almost fell right on the ground. Embarrassing. He cleared his throat, not ready to trust his voice. But he had to say _something_. “Are you… Are you okay? Caleb didn’t hurt you? Is everything alright? Can I help you?”

Alex didn’t know when he stepped so close to Willie but it didn’t matter. All he wanted to do was to check if he really was okay, if he wasn't tired or in pain or just… He just wanted to touch Willie and make sure he’s really here and he’s okay and it all wasn’t just a sick dream.

“Hey, hotdog,” Willie chuckled with a soft smirk. “I am okay.” Alex must’ve seemed unconvinced because he slowly took his hand and squeezed it. “I really am. See? I’m here.”

Alex didn’t even know when he started to cry or why he was doing so but his vision blurred and all he could find himself to do was to tightly embrace Willie. He buried his face in the boy's neck, even if that was a little acrobatic because of - ekhm - height difference. But he was too relieved to care, too happy and too overwhelmed by this whole thing. It felt so right to hold Willie which reminded him why he shouldn't have been doing that. Embarrassed and disappointed in his own indiscipline (which his father would definitely like to remind him of), he took the step back and forced himself to focus on facts. Informations Willie could have, his possible observations and comparing those with his and boys’ knowledge.

“It’s been a week or so since Orpheum and I was wondering… I mean, not that I expect you to put yourself in the danger of meeting with Caleb after you helped us, I just wanted… I don’t know, maybe you’ve heard something or any ghosts you know have seen something or…” Alex blurted one thing after another until Willie didn't chuckle gently and squeezed his hand.

“Hey, hotdog, no need to worry. Everything’s fine and I promise, you’re not making me do anything.”

Alex sighed. Maybe Willie was right. Maybe he wasn’t failing it _completely_.

He turned around to see where Luke and Reggie were but didn’t find them there. They must have entered the building already.

“Maybe we’ll talk inside?” he suggested. “I’m sure boys are waiting.”

“Yeah, sure, just… I’m sorry but I can’t stay long with you. I’ll stay for your gig as long as I can but don’t want to…”

Alex smiled sadly. “I get it. You don’t want to risk your soul.”

“Yeah.”

Why was it all so _hard_?

“So… We go inside?” Willie asked after a beat, breaking the eye contact that was getting much more tense than intended.

So they did and it turned out that Luke and Reggie were waiting in the narrow, obscure hall.

“Willie, man, you’re okay? Caleb didn’t do anything to you?” Luke asked, clearly also concerned about the boy's wellbeing. In another life, Alex might think he was up to something but he was glad he didn’t have to now. They knew each other so well he could practically read their minds. It felt so good to have someone to trust…

“Fortunately yes but I gotta admit, it’s… A little bit weird,” Willie answered and Alex thought he had misheard his- Him. Willie, that is. Just Willie, a casual friend. Who totally should not feel weird about not being hurt.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I got the part where being safe and sound is weird,” Reggie said which sounded a little bit like one of his “I can’t read the room” acts. “Okay, that sounded bad, I’m sorry. Still need to transfer for the serious mood. That is, I get it sometimes is weird, I just… I didn’t know you were bullied besides the whole _I own your soul_ thing.”

Alex very much didn’t like how Willie’s smile was sad and kind of broken and how his voice quieted. “Owning my soul means Caleb can do whatever he wants. Just like he was doing to you. Or worse. And usually, he uses this power on daily basis. The thing is, he hasn’t been in the club since the morning after the Orpheum.”

Luke inhaled heavily.

“I know, right?” Willie laughed but it was a rather hopeless attempt to loosen up the cloud of dark scenarios that they invented right away.

“You know I’m not the best in coming up with what is going to happen,” Reggie said slowly. “But even I see something’s terribly wrong. And most likely, it has a lot to do with us.”

Willie nodded. “It does. Caleb was… Gosh, he was _furious_ when you left. He stopped the performance, he started to break the tables and chairs… Everyone ran away to their rooms, I ran out to the streets… Have been in the club every night since then, just to, you know, keep up the appearances but he’s gone. People say he had left the next morning.”

“So it's been over a week now,” Luke said. “Who knows what he could’ve done in that time…”

“Not me,” Willie admitted. “But I gathered some gossip and knowledge from the other ghosts in the club and… It’s nothing sure and I have no idea if we can pull it off anyhow but it looks like all the magical power is based on feeling and emotions. It’s like the driving force of the world.”

“Do you know how to manipulate it?”

“Not yet. It’s something totally different from what Caleb had taught me… Those were simple tricks, all based on focus and directing my will. Nothing using emotions. I’ll dig a little deeper on that but meanwhile, maybe you could… Ask Julie if she has ever heard about something like that?”

“Why would she?” Luke frowned and folded his arms. “It’s not like she’s from a powerful witch clan.”

“I wouldn’t jeopardize the witch theory that quickly but yeah, you’ve got a point a bit. Her father is awesome but nothing above normal, extremely kind and supporting mortal,” Reggie added. “Besides we don’t want her to freak out or worry. She deserves to have a life like a normal girl, despite the crazy stuff that's going on around and I'm going to let her have it. As long as she’s safe, we’re not going to get her involved. I know it might be hard but I am putting my foot down on that.”

Willie sighed. “I understand why you want to keep her out of it, okay? I really do.” He sighed once more, taking the inner battle. “And I’m not gonna force you to do anything but maybe she really has heard something in family stories? Or in fairy tales her mom or grandma used to tell her when she was little? This stuff can be truer than we would like it to be. Maybe she’s got clues we need?”

It all was getting crazier and crazier with every said word and Alex was on the edge of freaking out. Reggie’s firm, sharp tone, Willie’s unsureness, Luke’s silence, his own train of thoughts and anxiety coming up, plus the nerves before the gig… It all was stacking up and he did not like it.

“Okay, cut it off,” he said. “We have a gig in fifteen minutes, we promised Julie we’ll join her in a moment and the decision on whether to include her in our investigation or not is way too big and important to be made impulsively.”

He took a deep breath. He could calm down, he just needed to take control of the situation. Willie faced him, pretty much ignoring the presence of Luke and Reggie.

“Hey, Alex,” he said gently. “Please look at me. I see you’re scared, okay? There’s nothing bad about it and you’re right, now you should focus on a gig. I didn't want to hurt you, I just want to help any way I can.”

Willie didn’t even know how much it eased the situation and Alex only wished he could find the words to express that. Instead, he just let himself get lost in Willie’s eyes and somehow tried to let him know how much he’s happy to have him here.

“Thank you,” Alex whispered. “And, in case we won’t get a chance to talk later… Be careful, okay?”

“You know I always am, hotdog,” Willie smirked.

“Yeah, especially when skating between driving cars, huh?”

Willie winked at him. “Exactly. Aight, boys, good luck! I’m sure it’s gonna be amazing and I promise, I’ll stay as long as I can, hidden somewhere in the crowd. What do you think about bars over the stage?”

“Absolutely not, I’m not going to let you risk falling,” Alex snorted.

“But it would give a great opportunity to say I’ve fallen for you, right?” Willie said but before anyone could react, he poofed out.

Alex shook his head. "He's unbelievable."

"I'd find a few more accurate adjectives but there will be a time when you'll discover them yourself," Reggie said in the most philosophical tone Alex could recall since… Ever.

Alright, maybe Reggie did use it _once_ before - when talking about the importance of cooking the pasta for spaghetti the right amount of time or, otherwise, the whole meal “will spectacularly turn into dust”. Not the best example or comparison. But right now, all that mattered was their gig. A simple, doable thing. They'll worry about other problems the universe had thrown upon them later.

“Finally!” Julie exclaimed when they entered the backstage area.

“Free,” Reggie sang but all he got in return was three confused glances. “Nevermind.”

“I assume that you’re staring in the air with absurd intensity because guys are here and not because you’ve lost your mind,” Flynn said, approaching them. “So I’m gonna give you a minute to do the team shout or whatever it is you do before the performances and go get the manager know that you’ll be ready to play in a couple of minutes.”

She hugged Julie once more, whispered some warm words of affirmation, and squeezed her hand on leaving. Luke spoke after a beat of silence.

“So, the next gig.”

Julie smiled nervously. “Yeah! Kinda crazy…”

“Don’t worry, _conejito_ ,” Reggie said gently. “We’re gonna kill it!”

Alex gave him a questioning look, referring especially to the “Spanish nickname” part but Reggie just shrugged. Okay.

“I’m happy I was wrong saying the Orpheum would be our last night together,” Luke said, bringing back some seriousness. “I hope we have many, many more of them ahead of us and that many, many of them will be gigs we’re definitely gonna rock. Mostly because you’re the best found family in the world and I have the incredible luck to, first, have you in my life which I’m endlessly grateful for and, second, be able to play with you our music and do better with every day and never stop.”

Alex smiled. Luke was used to hiding most of his deeper thoughts. Not the emotions, with those he was pretty straightforward. But deep feelings, thoughts that counted into the category of “beliefs, hopes, dreams, decisions, and views on different things” were carefully hidden from the world to see. The years of friendship allowed him to bring down the walls from time to time and Alex saw he’s trying to remember he doesn’t have to worry they’ll reject or laugh at him. But those moments like this - emotional, raw, universal in feelings for everyone in the room - were always bringing back his gentler side, the one he was using to write songs. He was making great, heartful pre-performance speeches then and Alex was happy Luke could truly open up from time to time.

“Found family on three,” Reggie ordered and stuck out one hand.

Alex joined him. “One.”

“Two,” Luke smiled widely with excitement all over his face.

“Three.” Julie put her hand on top of theirs.

“Found family!” they shouted together, throwing hands in the air.

“Alright, let’s rock this thing! Julie, remember, there’s no monster under the bed. Even if, I’ll be there to slay the hell outta it,” Luke said, clearly referring to his previous conversation with the girl and went to his place on the stage.

“He’s always like that before the gigs?” Julie asked when they headed towards the stage.

“You mean excited? Or dumb? Because if dumb, I have to warn you, he’s like that all the time,” Alex replied with a smirk.

“I mean vulnerable. And why are you so hard on him about that? He’s your friend!” Julie nudged his side.

“He is!” he assured, trying to avoid her elbow even though this time, her arm would go through his “body”. “And because he is, he knows that my teasing isn’t very serious. Anyway, you know what I mean. You tease us as well, we tease you, we’re all even.”

“Yea, I get it, I just… Every time I see someone being teased because of their vulnerability or just being themselves, I get super protective. I know the feeling of being made fun of just because you are yourself and let me tell, it’s not fun,” Julie said, fishing Luke with her gaze. “But you know that, probably. That is not fun, I mean. You may not really see this trait in me. I guess I’m still trying to… Not only feel protective but to actually protect.”

Alex tried to put his arm around her but it didn’t work so he remained with a warm look.

“I do see it already but if you’re going to develop it? Man, you gotta warn us because we do not want to be yelled at ‘cause of dehydration or something.”

“Drinking the right amount of water is important, Alex!” she exclaimed with a laugh. “But you may feel warned. I’m gonna be as protective over my family as I only can be.”

“Alright, mom, noticed. What do you say about finally starting that gig, huh? I’m sure they’re waiting for some good music sung by an astonishing voice of yours.”

Julie’s eyes got teary a little bit - whether it was because of a compliment or something else - but she nodded firmly and headed off to her spot.

“Hi,” she started, gripping tightly her white microphone. “We’re Julie and the Phantoms and it’s very nice to meet you all. This is _Road_ and I hope you’ll like it.”

She started with the beat pad instead of the usual piano, giving two or three bars with pure rhythm. Luke appeared and added a simple, rough melody to it. Julie gave a couple of chords on the piano and put them to a loop, then grabbed her microphone and sang the intro right when Alex and Reggie appeared on the stage.

_We’re going, watch out!_

_Ain’t gonna slow down!_

_It’s our time, yeah!_

_So here we come!_

Luke took over the first verse, while Julie turned around to dance with Reggie and jump to Alex's drums.

_We can be better, I believe in that_

_A little bit brighter, kinder_

_Maybe the world will be a better place_

_For us and for everyone else_

_And maybe the world is hard on us_

_But it doesn’t mean we can’t try_

He liked the pre-chorus despite the nerves it was giving him. Singing solo the first line of it in front of all those people was scary as hell but at the end, the sound of them taking each line (Reggie the second, Luke the third, and Julie the fourth one) and then coming together into the chorus with all the force they had, was thrilling.

_Even if stars are gonna fall tonight_

_Even if we’re still on the ground_

_Even if dark’s gonna cover our eyes_

_Even if all we do is breathe_

_It’s still the same wide, open road_

_Red, muddy, filthy, and hard_

_But it’s the road of a free choice_

_Choice of love and hope_

_Choice of trying once more_

Julie cross-legged sat at the edge of a stage, leaning towards people like she was going to tell them a secret, and sang the second verse more gently than Luke. The crowd didn’t seem to mind that the performance got a little bit calmer: they were listening as if she charmed them with a spell.

_We can take this road, nothing surer than that_

_It’s not gonna be easy, true But it’s definitely worth all the struggles_

_Because who wouldn’t like to live_

_In a place of second chances,_

_Light, and fighting for each other_

They repeated the chorus twice after that (just as energetically as before), then came back to pre-chorus and then chorus once more and the song was almost over. They started to back away one after another: first Julie with words and piano, then Luke, then Alex and Reggie. After a beat of silence Julie put her arms in the air and led them to a bow, it exploded with applause. He smiled widely, looking at the crowd and then at Reggie and Luke, both grinning. When people started to clap even louder after a millisecond of silence, he concluded they'd disappeared.

Not that they were planning on staying invisible - they still had two more songs to kill.

So they played them - both _Find the light_ and _Bright_ (they decided to play that mostly because only Julie's school heard it) went really, really well - and then they also played _Edge of Great_ as people requested. He heard Julie or Flynn saying the video is "trending" on YouTube (whatever this meant) but he didn't expect people to actually ask them to play one more song. Maybe the Orpheum really was some kind of a breakthrough?

When they stood up from the last bow, all that Alex could feel was pure adrenaline and joy from getting a chance to perform once more. He was grinning so hard his cheeks started to ache but it didn’t matter. He was with his little family, somewhere in the crowd was a boy he liked and he just played a gig and he couldn’t want more from the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! how's everyone?
> 
> so, the gig happened, the next chapter is planned, the New Year came (finally!) and I would like to wish you all dreams coming true, tons of health and stars shining above our heads the lightest they can! May 2021 be better!


End file.
